The Fading Life: A Women’s Story

He had a nice smile, a trustable vibe and a sense of understanding that would make you feel like the talking will never end. It was a nice company, until his hands began to wander in the sacred temple of one’s being. Beautiful are the mountains strong and still, limitless is the sky wide and high, depthless is the ocean deep and mysterious. Perfection covers every inch of nature, yet there’s my body. I wonder how much has it’s been since we lost the battle of pleasure and peace.

I have encountered a real tragedy in my life, a tragedy that can be compiled in four words. I am a girl. Living in a feminine body has been really hard for me since my childhood. From my family to the society as a whole, I am an object of work and pleasure no matter where I go. I don’t have to explain it all since the word GIRL defines every suffering and difficulties I have been in. Although living in 21st century with bullshits like rights and movement has been pretty dramatic but it didn’t changed that horrible being that made me experience things I shouldn’t or people that consider me a machine with hands and legs just there to do things. The grass root reality is always ignored and people like me always suffer. Yesterday, we were nothing. Today, we are special. For God’s sake treat us like a human being, neither lesser nor more, except Human Beings.

Although many things are debatable, one thing is for sure; I would’ve been a female version of Einstein if not greater. I used to watch the child prodigies solving complex math questions to show their intelligence. Frankly, it was funny because even a simple calculator would solve that in seconds and human brain is capable of much more than that, so to actually realize the significance of the so called geniuses with such methods made me laugh. Still I mostly solved those questions faster than them. But where was I? Why don’t people know my name? Why am I not competing? I never got the answer to these questions but I have a theory that made me understand why.

Not long after I was born, I was taught that I am weak and dependable. Remember those Barbie dolls and cute stuffed animals? Wasn’t that a vocational training for us on How to handle a child? Weren’t those ways on how to sit and stand and talk made us look and feel weaker than other beings? From a cute Barbie doll to being a mother and taking care of our child, we are always behind the stage and discriminated in terms of being a human. And to top it off, there’s abuse. From a punching bag to pleasure doll, we suffer. That’s not it, there’s not only the physical suffering, we are mentally messed up, socially degraded, economically depended and hence becomes breathing dead body. And if anyone dares to say that it depends on person’s will and courage to stand up for themselves, ask a cripple to run a marathon against full healthy people without any tools. If that person does it, I’m wrong.

Wondering who am I? Well, I am young lady who is about to die of breast cancer. Yeah that type which no one talks about. Who cares? At the end, we are the one who suffers not them right. From a mother to a friend who never sees her friends, I have been many characters in my life so far, but there’s only one that I haven’t been and that’s being a human. I don’t blame God for creating me a female, I don’t blame the society to discriminate me, I don’t even blame myself for not standing up for myself. All I blame are those idiotic white coated scientists who defined us as humans. We don’t belong in the human category. We should be given our own nomenclature. Only then, we can have our own identity.

It’s Jabir… See you around.

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